Enjoy our team's carefully selected dirty jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest dirty jokes with your friends!
You look great in that outfit, but I bet youโd look even better in your birthday suit.
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Knock! Knock!
โWhoโs there?โ
โQuiche.โ
โQuiche, who?โ
โCan I have a hug and a quiche?โ
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One day, two best friendsโJay and Bobโwere walking down the forest when suddenly a giant snake jumped on Jayโs leg and bit his dick.
Since no one was around for miles, Bob called a hospital and told the doctor, โQuick, quick, I need your help, my friend got bit by a snake on his penis.โ
The doctor told him, โSon, youโre going to have to suck the venom out yourself.โ
Bob asked, โPlease, doctor, there has to be another way to get rid of the venom.โ
The doctor says, โSorry, thereโs nothing we can do.โ
So Bob goes running to his friend and when he gets there, Jay says with pain, โSo what did the doctor say?โ
Bob says, โDoctor said youโre going to die.โ
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Your belt looks really tight. Can I loosen it for you?
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Whatโs the difference between a woman with PMS and a terrorist?
You can negotiate with a terrorist.
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What did the banana say to the vibrator?
What are you shaking about, itโs me sheโs going to eat.
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What do a penis and a Rubikโs Cubes have in common?
The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
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What do Asians call 69?
Two can chew.
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A teacher asks her class, โWhat do you want to be when you grow up?โ
Little Johnny says, โI wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best bitch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a dayโ.
The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with the bad behavior of the child, decides not to give importance to what he said and then continues the lesson.
โAnd you, Susie?โ the teacher asks. Susie says, โI wanna be Johnnyโs bitch.โ
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Your mommaโs so ugly, when she goes into a strip club, they pay her to keep her clothes on.
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