Enjoy our team's carefully selected dirty jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest dirty jokes with your friends!
What did Santa sing when he went down the chimney?
Chestnuts roasting on an open fire.
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Why do elves laugh when they run?
Because the snow tickles their balls.
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I need a good place to think. Can I sit on your lap, and we’ll see the first thing that pops up?
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A teacher asks her class, “What do you want to be when you grow up?”
Little Johnny says, “I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best bitch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day”.
The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with the bad behavior of the child, decides not to give importance to what he said and then continues the lesson.
“And you, Susie?” the teacher asks. Susie says, “I wanna be Johnny’s bitch.”
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An old woman walked into a dentist’s office, took off all her clothes, and spread her legs.
The dentist said, “I think you have the wrong room.”
“You put in my husband’s teeth last week,” she replied. “Now you have to remove them.”
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Is there space in your mouth for another tongue?
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What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?
If we don’t get some support, people will think we’re nuts.
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Why isn’t Santa able to ejaculate?
His balls are hanging in the tree.
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Remember, Christmas isn’t about how big the tree is, or what’s under it.
It’s about who’s around it.
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One day, two best friends—Jay and Bob—were walking down the forest when suddenly a giant snake jumped on Jay’s leg and bit his dick.
Since no one was around for miles, Bob called a hospital and told the doctor, “Quick, quick, I need your help, my friend got bit by a snake on his penis.”
The doctor told him, “Son, you’re going to have to suck the venom out yourself.”
Bob asked, “Please, doctor, there has to be another way to get rid of the venom.”
The doctor says, “Sorry, there’s nothing we can do.”
So Bob goes running to his friend and when he gets there, Jay says with pain, “So what did the doctor say?”
Bob says, “Doctor said you’re going to die.”
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