Funny Jokes

A Lie Detector Robot

A man buys a lie detector robot that slaps people who lie.

He decides to test it at dinner. He asks his son, "Son, where were you today during school hours?"

"At school."

The robot slaps the son.

"Okay, I went to the movies!"

The father asks, "Which one?"

"Harry Potter."

The robot slaps the son again.

"Okay, I was watching porn!"

The father replies, "What? When I was your age I didn't even know what porn was!"

The robot slaps the father.

The mom chimes in, "Haha! After all, he is your son!"

The robot slaps the mother.


Do not be racist, be like Mario. He's an Italian plumber, who was made by the Japanese, speaks English, looks like a Mexican, jumps like a black man, and grabs coins like a Jew!

Where Do Tampons Go?

"Mom, where do tampons go?"

"Where the babies come from, darling."

"In a stork?!"