Dirty Jokes



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Dirty Jokes


Are you an elevator? Because I want to go up and down on you.

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I’ve been feeling a little lifeless lately—would you give me mouth-to-mouth?

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Are you butt-dialing me? Because I swear, that ass is calling me.

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Why does Santa always land on your roof?

Because he likes it on top.

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“Don’t sit on that!”

“Sit on what?”

“Sit on DEEZ NUTS!”

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Yo momma’s such a slut that she sat on Pinocchio’s face and told him to tell a lie.

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Our w‌‌hole f‌‌amily i‌‌s r‌‌eally w‌‌orried a‌‌bout m‌‌y g‌‌randfather’s V‌‌iagra a‌‌ddiction.

Grandma i‌‌s t‌‌aking i‌‌t p‌‌articularly h‌‌ard.

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Little Johnny and his two friends are sitting on the front porch one day.

The first one says, “My daddy is so cool he can eat four burgers at one meal.”

The second one says, “That’s nothing. My daddy can eat six.”

Little Jonny starts laughing and says, “My Daddy can eat light bulbs.”

The other two boys tell Jonny that he is out of his mind. They ask him why he thinks his daddy can eat light bulbs.

Little Jonny replies, “Last night I was passing my parent’s room and my daddy said ‘Honey, turn out that light. I want to eat that thing’.”

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Who’s the most popular guy at the nudist colony?

The one who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen doughnuts.

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If you were born in September, it’s pretty safe to assume that your parents started their new year with a bang.

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