Dirty Jokes



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Dirty Jokes


What do a penis and a Rubikโ€™s Cubes have in common?

The more you play with it, the harder it gets.

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So I was in math class when the teacher asked me what comes after 69.

Apparently, โ€œI doโ€ is not the correct answer.

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What do you call a guy with a small dick?

Just-in.

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Letโ€™s play carpenter so I can nail you.

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You must be ice cream because I wanna lick you up.

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What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?

If we donโ€™t get some support, people will think weโ€™re nuts.

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My son is now at that age where heโ€™s curious about the human body.

I guess Iโ€™ll have to hide it somewhere else now...

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Little April was not the best student in Sunday school. She usually slept through the class.

One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, โ€œTell me, April, who created the universe?โ€

When April didnโ€™t stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear.

โ€œGOD ALMIGHTY!โ€ shouted April.

The teacher said, โ€œVery good!โ€

And April fell back asleep.

A while later, the teacher asked April, โ€œWho is our Lord and Savior?โ€

But April didnโ€™t even stir from her slumber.

Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again.

โ€œJESUS CHRIST!โ€ shouted April.

The teacher said, โ€œvery good!โ€

And April fell back to sleep.

Then the teacher asked April a third question, โ€œWhat did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?โ€

And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin.

This time, April jumped up and shouted, โ€œIF YOU STICK THAT FUCKING THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, Iโ€™LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ASS!โ€

The Teacher fainted.

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If a man talks dirty to a woman, thatโ€™s sexual harassment.

If a woman talks dirty to a man, thatโ€™ll be $6.50 a minute.

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Four men went golfing together one day; three headed to the first tee and one went into the clubhouse to take care of the bill.

The three men started talking, bragging about their sons.

The first man told the others, โ€œMy son is a home builder, and heโ€™s so successful that he gave a friend a new homeโ€”for free!โ€

The second man said, โ€œMy son was a car salesman and now he owns a multi-line dealership. Heโ€™s so successful that he gave a friend two Cadillacs.โ€

The third man, not wanting to be outdone, bragged, โ€œMy son is a stockbroker, and heโ€™s doing so well that he gave his friend an entire stock portfolio.โ€

The fourth man joined them on the tee after a few minutes of taking care of business.

The first man mentioned, โ€œWe were just talking about our sons. How is yours doing?โ€

The fourth man replied, โ€œWell, my son is gay. Iโ€™m not totally thrilled about it, but he must be good. His last three boyfriends gave him a house, two cars, and a stock portfolio.โ€

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