Enjoy our team's carefully selected dirty jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest dirty jokes with your friends!
Three guys go to a ski lodge, and there aren’t enough rooms, so they have to share a bed.
In the middle of the night, the guy on the right wakes up and says, “I had this wild, vivid dream of getting a hand job!”
The guy on the left wakes up, and unbelievably, he’s had the same dream, too.
Then the guy in the middle wakes up and says, “That’s funny, I dreamed I was skiing!”
😄 😄 😄
If a woman sleeps with 10 men, she’s a slut, but if a man does it... He’s gay, definitely gay.
😄 😄 😄
“Dad, what is 69?” asks son.
Dad: “Well, son, it is a position where a man and a women pleasure each other orally.
Son: “So what shall I write? Odd or even?”
😄 😄 😄
Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Quiche.”
“Quiche, who?”
“Can I have a hug and a quiche?”
😄 😄 😄
Two ADV riders camping out in a tent.
One of them crawls out to pee before bed.
Comes back all wet.
The other rider asks if it’s rainy outside.
“No, it’s windy.”
😄 😄 😄
A man is visiting his elderly father in a care home.
The man asks how his father is settling in.
“Oh, it’s wonderful, son. I’ve made some great friends, I’m well rested and at night the nurses give us a hot chocolate and a Viagra before bed every night”.
When, leaving, curious to know about the Viagra, he asks a nurse.
“Excuse me, my dad told me that you serve him hot chocolate and a Viagra before bed every night, why?”
The nurse replies, “Oh, the hot chocolate is to help them fall asleep.”
“And the Viagra is to stop them rolling out of bed.”
😄 😄 😄
When Miley Cyrus is naked and licks a hammer, it’s “art” and “music”.
But when I do it, I’m “wasted” and “have to leave Home Depot”.
😄 😄 😄
After many faithful years as a Christian, John’s dedication finally paid off as he found himself the girl of his dreams.
At the wedding, he walks over to his best friend for advice.
“Hey man! What is it that I’m supposed to do when I get her all alone after the wedding?”
“Ah, that’s simple. You just take your most prized-possession and stick it in where she pees.”
“Ah! Thanks dude!”
“No problem!”
Later that night, John took his bowling ball and put it in the toilet.
😄 😄 😄
How is life like a penis?
Your girlfriend makes it hard.
😄 😄 😄
I'’m dating an English teacher who keeps correcting my grammar during sex.
She gets particularly annoyed about my improper use of the colon.
😄 😄 😄
