Dirty Jokes



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Dirty Jokes


My penis was in the Guinness Book of World Records, but the librarian told me to take it out.

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β€œGive it to me! Give it to me!” she yelled, β€œI’m so wet, give it to me now!”

She could scream all she wanted, but I was keeping the umbrella.

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When Miley Cyrus is naked and licks a hammer, it’s β€œart” and β€œmusic”.

But when I do it, I’m β€œwasted” and β€œhave to leave Home Depot”.

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Is there space in your mouth for another tongue?

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I’m cold, can I use your thighs as earmuffs?

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Yo momma so stupid, she stuck a battery up her behind and said, β€œI GOT THE POWER!”

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Were your parents bakers? Because you’ve got a nice set of buns.

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An old woman walked into a dentist’s office, took off all her clothes, and spread her legs.

The dentist said, β€œI think you have the wrong room.”

β€œYou put in my husband’s teeth last week,” she replied. β€œNow you have to remove them.”

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Do you know how to say β€˜I love you’ while sixty-nine?

You don’t, it’s rude to talk with your mouth full.

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A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest.

After about 15 minutes, the man finally gets up and says, β€œDamn, I wish I had a flashlight!”

The woman says, β€œMe too, you’ve been eating grass for the past ten minutes!”

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