Enjoy our team's carefully selected dirty jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest dirty jokes with your friends!
What do the mafia and 69 have in common?
A slip of the tongue and you’re in for some shit.
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If you were born in September, it’s pretty safe to assume that your parents started their new year with a bang.
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“Hi there, I heard that you are a huge fan of Dee.”
“Dee who?”
“DEEZ NUTS!”
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After many faithful years as a Christian, John’s dedication finally paid off as he found himself the girl of his dreams.
At the wedding, he walks over to his best friend for advice.
“Hey man! What is it that I’m supposed to do when I get her all alone after the wedding?”
“Ah, that’s simple. You just take your most prized-possession and stick it in where she pees.”
“Ah! Thanks dude!”
“No problem!”
Later that night, John took his bowling ball and put it in the toilet.
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Know what a 6.9 is?
Another good thing screwed up by a period.
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A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest.
After about 15 minutes, the man finally gets up and says, “Damn, I wish I had a flashlight!”
The woman says, “Me too, you’ve been eating grass for the past ten minutes!”
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I'’m dating an English teacher who keeps correcting my grammar during sex.
She gets particularly annoyed about my improper use of the colon.
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What does Santa Claus have in common with a teenage boy?
They both empty their sacks into socks while the family is asleep.
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Three guys go to a ski lodge, and there aren’t enough rooms, so they have to share a bed.
In the middle of the night, the guy on the right wakes up and says, “I had this wild, vivid dream of getting a hand job!”
The guy on the left wakes up, and unbelievably, he’s had the same dream, too.
Then the guy in the middle wakes up and says, “That’s funny, I dreamed I was skiing!”
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It’s almost thanksgiving, do you want to be the turkey and I can be the stuffing?
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