Enjoy our team's carefully selected dirty jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest dirty jokes with your friends!
“Knock! Knock!”
“Who’s there?”
“Dee.”
“Dee, who?”
“DEEZ NUTS!”
😄 😄 😄
Why does Mrs. Claus always pray for a white Christmas?
Because she’s married to a guy who comes once a year.
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Yo momma’s such a slut that she sat on Pinocchio’s face and told him to tell a lie.
😄 😄 😄
Why did God give men penises?
So they’d have at least one way to shut a woman up.
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What comes after 69?
Mouthwash.
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Why men’s voice is louder than women?
Men have an antenna.
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“Hey, are you familiar with Landon?”
“Landon who?”
“Slip, fall then landon DEEZ NUTS!”
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An old woman walked into a dentist’s office, took off all her clothes, and spread her legs.
The dentist said, “I think you have the wrong room.”
“You put in my husband’s teeth last week,” she replied. “Now you have to remove them.”
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Little April was not the best student in Sunday school. She usually slept through the class.
One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, “Tell me, April, who created the universe?”
When April didn’t stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear.
“GOD ALMIGHTY!” shouted April.
The teacher said, “Very good!”
And April fell back asleep.
A while later, the teacher asked April, “Who is our Lord and Savior?”
But April didn’t even stir from her slumber.
Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again.
“JESUS CHRIST!” shouted April.
The teacher said, “very good!”
And April fell back to sleep.
Then the teacher asked April a third question, “What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?”
And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin.
This time, April jumped up and shouted, “IF YOU STICK THAT FUCKING THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I’LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ASS!”
The Teacher fainted.
😄 😄 😄
I asked my wife, “So, do you think the cup is half full or half empty?”
And you know what she said?
“Please, for the love of God, could you stop wearing my bras!”
😄 😄 😄
