Enjoy our team's carefully selected dirty jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest dirty jokes with your friends!
What do you call a guy with a small dick?
Just-in.
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Why does Santa’s crotch make noise when he walks?
He has jingle balls.
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What do tofu and dildos have in common?
They’re both meat substitutes.
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What does Santa Claus have in common with a teenage boy?
They both empty their sacks into socks while the family is asleep.
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This guy had devoted his whole working life to his job in a pickle factory.
Then one day, he got home from work and told his wife he’d been fired from his job.
She was very upset at this and angry at the company he’d worked for, shouting, “You’ve given that firm twenty years of devoted service. Why the hell did they fire you?”
The guy explained, “For the whole twenty years I worked there I’ve been tempted to stick my John Thomas in the pickle slicer, and today I finally did it!”
The wife screamed in horror and ran over to her husband. Then she pulled his pants down to see what damage had been done. She let out a big sigh of relief.
“You look okay,” she said. “So what happened to the pickle slicer?”
The guy said, “They fired her, too.”
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Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Lover.
“Lover, who?”
“It’s me, how many lovers do you have?”
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Why does Mrs. Claus always pray for a white Christmas?
Because she’s married to a guy who comes once a year.
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“Hey there buddy, I have a bunch of old albums, would you like 2 CD’s...?
“Sure thanks!”
“...to see DEEZ NUTZ!”
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After all these years, how do Santa Claus and Mrs. Claus keep the marriage fresh?
Toys.
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I’d love to get on my knees and show you my best donut smile.
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