Dirty Jokes

Enjoy our team's carefully selected dirty jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest dirty jokes with your friends!

Dirty Jokes

Your belt looks really tight. Can I loosen it for you?

๐Ÿ˜„ ๐Ÿ˜„ ๐Ÿ˜„

Itโ€™s okay if your phone autocorrects โ€œfuckโ€ to โ€œduckโ€.

Youโ€™re still using fowl language.

๐Ÿ˜„ ๐Ÿ˜„ ๐Ÿ˜„

Did you hear about the guy who died of a Viagra overdose?

They couldnโ€™t close his casket.

๐Ÿ˜„ ๐Ÿ˜„ ๐Ÿ˜„

Yo mama so sexy, the door hit her on the way out.

๐Ÿ˜„ ๐Ÿ˜„ ๐Ÿ˜„

โ€œHey, are you familiar with Landon?โ€

โ€œLandon who?โ€

โ€œSlip, fall then landon DEEZ NUTS!โ€

๐Ÿ˜„ ๐Ÿ˜„ ๐Ÿ˜„

So I was in math class when the teacher asked me what comes after 69.

Apparently, โ€œI doโ€ is not the correct answer.

๐Ÿ˜„ ๐Ÿ˜„ ๐Ÿ˜„

A man is visiting his elderly father in a care home.

The man asks how his father is settling in.

โ€œOh, itโ€™s wonderful, son. Iโ€™ve made some great friends, Iโ€™m well rested and at night the nurses give us a hot chocolate and a Viagra before bed every nightโ€.

When, leaving, curious to know about the Viagra, he asks a nurse.

โ€œExcuse me, my dad told me that you serve him hot chocolate and a Viagra before bed every night, why?โ€

The nurse replies, โ€œOh, the hot chocolate is to help them fall asleep.โ€

โ€œAnd the Viagra is to stop them rolling out of bed.โ€

๐Ÿ˜„ ๐Ÿ˜„ ๐Ÿ˜„

Why menโ€™s voice is louder than women?

Men have an antenna.

๐Ÿ˜„ ๐Ÿ˜„ ๐Ÿ˜„

Knock! Knock!

โ€œWhoโ€™s there?โ€

โ€œBen Dover.โ€

โ€œBen Dover, who?โ€

โ€œBen Dover and Iโ€™ll give you a big surprise!โ€

๐Ÿ˜„ ๐Ÿ˜„ ๐Ÿ˜„

A man escapes from a prison where heโ€™s been locked up for 15 years.

He breaks into a house to look for money and guns.

Inside, he finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair.

While tying the homeownerโ€™s wife to the bed, the convict gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.

While heโ€™s in there, the husband whispers over to his wife, โ€œListen, this guy is an escaped convict. Look at his clothes! Heโ€™s probably spent a lot of time in jail and hasnโ€™t seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, donโ€™t resist, donโ€™t complain... do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is obviously very dangerous. If he gets angry, heโ€™ll kill us both. Be strong, honey. I love you!โ€

His wife responds, โ€œHe wasnโ€™t kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me that heโ€™s gay, thinks youโ€™re cute, and asked if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you, too!โ€

๐Ÿ˜„ ๐Ÿ˜„ ๐Ÿ˜„

More Jokes

© 2022 jokesx.com