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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car? Carlos.

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I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather, but not like the other passengers in the car with him.

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Eve: "Adam, do you love me?"
Adam: "Who else?"

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The proper way to use a stress ball is to throw it at the last person to upset you.

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Why do Jews have big noses?
Because the air is free.

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A young brunette goes into the doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it.
"Impossible," says the doctor. "Show me."
She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams in agony. She pushes her knee and screams, pushes her ankle and screams and so it goes on, everywhere she touches makes her scream.
The doctor says, "You're not really a brunette, are you?"
She says, "No, I'm really a blonde."
"I thought so," he says. "Your finger is broken."

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How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? Just Juan.

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What does a basketball player do when he loses his eyesight? Becomes a referee.

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How many lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb? How many can you afford?

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A husband and a wife sit at the table, having dinner. The woman drops a bit of tomato sauce on her white top.
"Oh, I look like a pig!"
The man nods, "And you dropped tomato sauce on your top!"

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