Dirty Jokes

How do you make your girlfriend scream during sex?

Call and tell her about it.

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What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?

Slow down. And possibly use a lubricant.

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What does a 75 year old woman have between her breasts that a 25 year old doesn't?

Her navel.

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What did the blind man say when he passed the fish market?

"Good morning ladies!"

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What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?

"Hold on to your nuts, this ain't no ordinary blowjob."

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Teacher: "Can anyone name three kings that brought happiness and peace to earth?"

Student: "Drin-king, Smo-king, and Fuc-king!"

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Dad: "Hey son, if you keep masturbating your going to go blind."

Son: "Dad, I'm over here."

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Two hookers were on a street corner.

They started discussing business, and one of the hookers said, "Gonna be a good night, I smell cock in the air."

The other hooker looked at her and said, "No, I just burped."

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Why don't bunnies make noise when they make love?

Because they have cotton balls.

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Any woman that thinks the way to a mans heart is through his stomach is aiming just a little too high.

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