Enjoy our team's carefully selected dirty jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest dirty jokes with your friends!
What goes in hard and dry, then comes out wet and soft?
Chewing gum.
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Yo Mama’s like a library, open to the public.
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What does a man who had a vasectomy have in common with a Christmas tree?
Their balls are both decorative.
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When Miley Cyrus is naked and licks a hammer, it’s “art” and “music”.
But when I do it, I’m “wasted” and “have to leave Home Depot”.
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“Do you know who is coming to our party later on?”
“Yeah, Dee is.”
“Dee, who?”
“DEEZ NUTS!“
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Unexpected sex is a great way to be woken up... if you’re not in prison.
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Some time ago, a young Chinese couple married.
“Okay, dear husband, my mother suggested that I should please you tonight,” the bride replies quietly on her wedding night. “Please tell me what you want.”
“To be honest... I would like... 69,” the groom admits nervously after a little minute of thought.
And the bride says, “You want Beef with Broccoli?”
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Men at 25 play football.
Men at 40 play tennis.
Men at 60 play golf.
Have you noticed how as you get older, your balls get smaller?
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One day, two best friends—Jay and Bob—were walking down the forest when suddenly a giant snake jumped on Jay’s leg and bit his dick.
Since no one was around for miles, Bob called a hospital and told the doctor, “Quick, quick, I need your help, my friend got bit by a snake on his penis.”
The doctor told him, “Son, you’re going to have to suck the venom out yourself.”
Bob asked, “Please, doctor, there has to be another way to get rid of the venom.”
The doctor says, “Sorry, there’s nothing we can do.”
So Bob goes running to his friend and when he gets there, Jay says with pain, “So what did the doctor say?”
Bob says, “Doctor said you’re going to die.”
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Last night on ESPN, I was watching Women’s beach volleyball.
About three minutes into the game, there was a really bad wrist injury.
The doctor said I should be fine in a few days though.
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