Enjoy our team's carefully selected dirty jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest dirty jokes with your friends!
A salesman rings the doorbell and Little Johnny answers.
Salesman: “Can I see your dad?”
Johnny: “No, he’s in the shower.”
Salesman: “What about your mother? Can I see her?”
Johnny: “Nope. She’s in the shower, too.”
Salesman: “Do you think they’ll be out soon?”
Johnny: “Doubt it. When my dad asked me for the Vaseline, I gave him superglue instead.”
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What do the mafia and 69 have in common?
A slip of the tongue and you’re in for some shit.
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What goes in hard and dry, then comes out wet and soft?
Chewing gum.
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What do you get when you jingle Santa’s balls?
A white Christmas!
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If a woman sleeps with 10 men, she’s a slut, but if a man does it... He’s gay, definitely gay.
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What’s a nice person like you doing in a dirty mind like mine?
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Three guys go to a ski lodge, and there aren’t enough rooms, so they have to share a bed.
In the middle of the night, the guy on the right wakes up and says, “I had this wild, vivid dream of getting a hand job!”
The guy on the left wakes up, and unbelievably, he’s had the same dream, too.
Then the guy in the middle wakes up and says, “That’s funny, I dreamed I was skiing!”
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Four men were stranded in a desert. Suddenly, one of them died.
The other three decided that the only way to survive was to eat the dead body.
The 1st man said, “I support Liverpool, so I’ll eat his liver.”
The 2nd man said, “I support Manchester, so I’ll eat his chest.”
The 3rd man said, “I support Arsenal... but I’m not very hungry.”
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“Don’t sit on that!”
“Sit on what?”
“Sit on DEEZ NUTS!”
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Why did God give men penises?
So they’d have at least one way to shut a woman up.
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