Enjoy our team's carefully selected dirty jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest dirty jokes with your friends!
After all these years, how do Santa Claus and Mrs. Claus keep the marriage fresh?
Toys.
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Why does Santa always have a full sack?
Because he only comes once a year!
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Four men were stranded in a desert. Suddenly, one of them died.
The other three decided that the only way to survive was to eat the dead body.
The 1st man said, “I support Liverpool, so I’ll eat his liver.”
The 2nd man said, “I support Manchester, so I’ll eat his chest.”
The 3rd man said, “I support Arsenal... but I’m not very hungry.”
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Seems like you sat on a big bag of sugar since you have such a sweet ass.
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Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Lover.
“Lover, who?”
“It’s me, how many lovers do you have?”
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Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Ice cream.”
“Ice cream, who?”
“Ice cream all night if you’re lucky.”
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Yo mama is so ugly that she scared the crap out of the toilet.
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Unexpected sex is a great way to be woken up... if you’re not in prison.
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Do you like bacon? Want to strip?
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A man is visiting his elderly father in a care home.
The man asks how his father is settling in.
“Oh, it’s wonderful, son. I’ve made some great friends, I’m well rested and at night the nurses give us a hot chocolate and a Viagra before bed every night”.
When, leaving, curious to know about the Viagra, he asks a nurse.
“Excuse me, my dad told me that you serve him hot chocolate and a Viagra before bed every night, why?”
The nurse replies, “Oh, the hot chocolate is to help them fall asleep.”
“And the Viagra is to stop them rolling out of bed.”
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