Enjoy our team's carefully selected dirty jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest dirty jokes with your friends!
“Hey there buddy, I have a bunch of old albums, would you like 2 CD’s...?
“Sure thanks!”
“...to see DEEZ NUTZ!”
😄 😄 😄
Why do vegetarians give good head?
Because they’re used to eating nuts.
😄 😄 😄
I asked my wife, “So, do you think the cup is half full or half empty?”
And you know what she said?
“Please, for the love of God, could you stop wearing my bras!”
😄 😄 😄
What’s the difference between a woman with PMS and a terrorist?
You can negotiate with a terrorist.
😄 😄 😄
Are you an elevator? Because I want to go up and down on you.
😄 😄 😄
Today, a fortune cookie told me that every exit is an entrance.
Long story short, my girlfriend said no.
😄 😄 😄
My son is now at that age where he’s curious about the human body.
I guess I’ll have to hide it somewhere else now...
😄 😄 😄
I’m cold, can I use your thighs as earmuffs?
😄 😄 😄
Some time ago, a young Chinese couple married.
“Okay, dear husband, my mother suggested that I should please you tonight,” the bride replies quietly on her wedding night. “Please tell me what you want.”
“To be honest... I would like... 69,” the groom admits nervously after a little minute of thought.
And the bride says, “You want Beef with Broccoli?”
😄 😄 😄
While teaching a class, a teacher trying to teach good manners asked her students the following question, “Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?”
Michael said, “Just a minute, I have to go pee.”
The teacher responded by saying, “That would be rude and impolite. What about you, Sherman, how would you say it?”
Sherman said, “I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I’ll be right back.”
“That’s better, but it’s still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table. And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners?”
Johnny said, “I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, who I hope to introduce you to after dinner.”
😄 😄 😄
