Enjoy our team's carefully selected dirty jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest dirty jokes with your friends!
What do you get when you jingle Santa’s balls?
A white Christmas!
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My wife just gave birth today and after thanking the doctor, I pulled him aside and sheepishly asked, “How soon do you think we’ll be able to have sex?”
He winked at me and said, “I’m off duty in ten minutes—meet me in the car park.”
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This guy had devoted his whole working life to his job in a pickle factory.
Then one day, he got home from work and told his wife he’d been fired from his job.
She was very upset at this and angry at the company he’d worked for, shouting, “You’ve given that firm twenty years of devoted service. Why the hell did they fire you?”
The guy explained, “For the whole twenty years I worked there I’ve been tempted to stick my John Thomas in the pickle slicer, and today I finally did it!”
The wife screamed in horror and ran over to her husband. Then she pulled his pants down to see what damage had been done. She let out a big sigh of relief.
“You look okay,” she said. “So what happened to the pickle slicer?”
The guy said, “They fired her, too.”
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What did the O say to the Q?
Dude, your dick’s hanging out.
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Why did the squirrel swim on its back?
To keep its nuts dry.
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If a woman sleeps with 10 men, she’s a slut, but if a man does it... He’s gay, definitely gay.
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Two sperm swimming side by side were having a conversation.
One sperm asked the other, “How far till we reach the Fallopian tubes?”
The other replied, “No sure, but we just passed the esophagus.”
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The only reason the term “Ladies first” was invented was for the guy to check out the woman’s ass.
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When Miley Cyrus is naked and licks a hammer, it’s “art” and “music”.
But when I do it, I’m “wasted” and “have to leave Home Depot”.
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Is that some Halloween candy in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?
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