Enjoy our team's carefully selected dirty jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest dirty jokes with your friends!
Regular Santa: “Ho, ho, ho!”
Gay Santa: “Haaaayyy, haaaayyy, haaayyy!”
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“Do you know who is coming to our party later on?”
“Yeah, Dee is.”
“Dee, who?”
“DEEZ NUTS!“
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Why does Santa always land on your roof?
Because he likes it on top.
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It’s almost thanksgiving, do you want to be the turkey and I can be the stuffing?
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A man is visiting his elderly father in a care home.
The man asks how his father is settling in.
“Oh, it’s wonderful, son. I’ve made some great friends, I’m well rested and at night the nurses give us a hot chocolate and a Viagra before bed every night”.
When, leaving, curious to know about the Viagra, he asks a nurse.
“Excuse me, my dad told me that you serve him hot chocolate and a Viagra before bed every night, why?”
The nurse replies, “Oh, the hot chocolate is to help them fall asleep.”
“And the Viagra is to stop them rolling out of bed.”
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Are you an elevator? Because I want to go up and down on you.
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Some time ago, a young Chinese couple married.
“Okay, dear husband, my mother suggested that I should please you tonight,” the bride replies quietly on her wedding night. “Please tell me what you want.”
“To be honest... I would like... 69,” the groom admits nervously after a little minute of thought.
And the bride says, “You want Beef with Broccoli?”
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While teaching a class, a teacher trying to teach good manners asked her students the following question, “Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?”
Michael said, “Just a minute, I have to go pee.”
The teacher responded by saying, “That would be rude and impolite. What about you, Sherman, how would you say it?”
Sherman said, “I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I’ll be right back.”
“That’s better, but it’s still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table. And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners?”
Johnny said, “I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, who I hope to introduce you to after dinner.”
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Did you hear about the guy who died of a Viagra overdose?
They couldn’t close his casket.
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Are you a Slytherin? Because I really want you to slither into my Chamber of Secrets.
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