Enjoy our team's carefully selected dirty jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest dirty jokes with your friends!
The nurse at the sperm bank asked me if I’d like to masturbate in the cup.
I said, “Well, I’m pretty good, but I don’t think I’m ready to compete just yet.”
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Do you like bacon? Want to strip?
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Why does Santa always have a full sack?
Because he only comes once a year!
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Today, a fortune cookie told me that every exit is an entrance.
Long story short, my girlfriend said no.
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Why did the sperm cross the road?
Because I put on the wrong sock this morning.
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Regular Santa: “Ho, ho, ho!”
Gay Santa: “Haaaayyy, haaaayyy, haaayyy!”
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You must be ice cream because I wanna lick you up.
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“Hi there, I heard that you are a huge fan of Dee.”
“Dee who?”
“DEEZ NUTS!”
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Some call a 69 nasty.
Some see it as a nice romantic dinner for 2.
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Little April was not the best student in Sunday school. She usually slept through the class.
One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, “Tell me, April, who created the universe?”
When April didn’t stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear.
“GOD ALMIGHTY!” shouted April.
The teacher said, “Very good!”
And April fell back asleep.
A while later, the teacher asked April, “Who is our Lord and Savior?”
But April didn’t even stir from her slumber.
Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again.
“JESUS CHRIST!” shouted April.
The teacher said, “very good!”
And April fell back to sleep.
Then the teacher asked April a third question, “What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?”
And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin.
This time, April jumped up and shouted, “IF YOU STICK THAT FUCKING THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I’LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ASS!”
The Teacher fainted.
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