Enjoy our team's carefully selected dirty jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest dirty jokes with your friends!
Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Ben Dover.”
“Ben Dover, who?”
“Ben Dover and I’ll give you a big surprise!”
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I need a good place to think. Can I sit on your lap, and we’ll see the first thing that pops up?
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If a woman sleeps with 10 men, she’s a slut, but if a man does it... He’s gay, definitely gay.
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Why do chickens wear underwear on their head?
Because their pecker is on their face.
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What do you call a sex toy on a Christmas tree?
A dickoration.
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Are you an elevator? Because I want to go up and down on you.
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Why is Santa so damn jolly?
Because he knows where all the naughty women live.
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How is sex like a game of bridge?
If you have a great hand, you don’t need a partner.
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Is there space in your mouth for another tongue?
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A woman was having an affair while her husband was at work.
One day, she was in bed with her boyfriend when, to her horror, she heard her husband’s car pull into the driveway.
“Oh My God, hurry! Grab your clothes,” she yelled at her lover. “And jump out the window. My husband’s home early!”
“I can’t jump out the window!” came the strangled reply from beneath the sheets. “It’s raining out there!”
“If my husband catches us in here, he’ll kill us both!” she replied.
“He’s got a very quick temper and a very large gun! The rain is the least of your problems!”
So the boyfriend scoots out of bed, grabs his clothes and jumps out the window.
As he began running down the street in the pouring rain, he quickly discovered he had run right into the middle of the town’s annual marathon. He started running along beside the others, about 300 of them.
Being naked, with his clothes tucked under his arm, he tried to “blend in” as best he could.
It wasn’t that effective.
After a little while, a small group of runners, who had been studying him with some curiosity, jogged closer.
“Do you always run in the nude?” one asked.
“Oh yes,” he replied, gasping in air. “It feels so wonderfully free having the air blow over all your skin while you’re running.”
Another runner moved alongside, “Do you always run carrying your clothes under your arm?”
“Oh, yes,” he answered breathlessly. “That way I can get dressed right at the end of the run and get in my car to go home.”
Then a third runner cast his eyes a little lower and queried, “Do you always wear a condom when you run?”
“Only if it’s raining.”
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