Enjoy our team's carefully selected dirty jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest dirty jokes with your friends!
Your belt looks really tight. Can I loosen it for you?
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Itโs okay if your phone autocorrects โfuckโ to โduckโ.
Youโre still using fowl language.
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Did you hear about the guy who died of a Viagra overdose?
They couldnโt close his casket.
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Yo mama so sexy, the door hit her on the way out.
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โHey, are you familiar with Landon?โ
โLandon who?โ
โSlip, fall then landon DEEZ NUTS!โ
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So I was in math class when the teacher asked me what comes after 69.
Apparently, โI doโ is not the correct answer.
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A man is visiting his elderly father in a care home.
The man asks how his father is settling in.
โOh, itโs wonderful, son. Iโve made some great friends, Iโm well rested and at night the nurses give us a hot chocolate and a Viagra before bed every nightโ.
When, leaving, curious to know about the Viagra, he asks a nurse.
โExcuse me, my dad told me that you serve him hot chocolate and a Viagra before bed every night, why?โ
The nurse replies, โOh, the hot chocolate is to help them fall asleep.โ
โAnd the Viagra is to stop them rolling out of bed.โ
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Why menโs voice is louder than women?
Men have an antenna.
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Knock! Knock!
โWhoโs there?โ
โBen Dover.โ
โBen Dover, who?โ
โBen Dover and Iโll give you a big surprise!โ
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A man escapes from a prison where heโs been locked up for 15 years.
He breaks into a house to look for money and guns.
Inside, he finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair.
While tying the homeownerโs wife to the bed, the convict gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.
While heโs in there, the husband whispers over to his wife, โListen, this guy is an escaped convict. Look at his clothes! Heโs probably spent a lot of time in jail and hasnโt seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, donโt resist, donโt complain... do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is obviously very dangerous. If he gets angry, heโll kill us both. Be strong, honey. I love you!โ
His wife responds, โHe wasnโt kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me that heโs gay, thinks youโre cute, and asked if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you, too!โ
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