Enjoy our team's carefully selected dirty jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest dirty jokes with your friends!
Four men were stranded in a desert. Suddenly, one of them died.
The other three decided that the only way to survive was to eat the dead body.
The 1st man said, “I support Liverpool, so I’ll eat his liver.”
The 2nd man said, “I support Manchester, so I’ll eat his chest.”
The 3rd man said, “I support Arsenal... but I’m not very hungry.”
😄 😄 😄
“Hey, are you familiar with Landon?”
“Landon who?”
“Slip, fall then landon DEEZ NUTS!”
😄 😄 😄
So a village boy and a modern girl fall in love and want to try 69.
The boy doesn’t know about 69, so the girl takes the lead.
He lies down on the floor, and she squats down over his face to assume the position and farts out uncontrollably directly in his face. Embarrassed, she stands up and apologizes.
She squats down for another go, but farts again, this time even louder than before. She gets up and apologizes again.
Before she can have a third go, her boyfriend, red with anger, gets up hurriedly, and runs out saying, “If you think I’m gonna lie there and be farted 67 more times in my face, you are mad!”
😄 😄 😄
So I was in math class when the teacher asked me what comes after 69.
Apparently, “I do” is not the correct answer.
😄 😄 😄
Little April was not the best student in Sunday school. She usually slept through the class.
One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, “Tell me, April, who created the universe?”
When April didn’t stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear.
“GOD ALMIGHTY!” shouted April.
The teacher said, “Very good!”
And April fell back asleep.
A while later, the teacher asked April, “Who is our Lord and Savior?”
But April didn’t even stir from her slumber.
Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again.
“JESUS CHRIST!” shouted April.
The teacher said, “very good!”
And April fell back to sleep.
Then the teacher asked April a third question, “What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?”
And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin.
This time, April jumped up and shouted, “IF YOU STICK THAT FUCKING THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I’LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ASS!”
The Teacher fainted.
😄 😄 😄
My girlfriend said she was going to get a colonic.
Turns out, she was full of shit.
😄 😄 😄
Yo momma’s such a slut that she sat on Pinocchio’s face and told him to tell a lie.
😄 😄 😄
Are you butt-dialing me? Because I swear, that ass is calling me.
😄 😄 😄
Why is it so hard to argue with a woman who is not wearing a bra?
She’s already made two great points.
😄 😄 😄
Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Ben Dover.”
“Ben Dover, who?”
“Ben Dover and I’ll give you a big surprise!”
😄 😄 😄
