Enjoy our team's carefully selected dirty jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest dirty jokes with your friends!
Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Ben Dover.”
“Ben Dover, who?”
“Ben Dover and I’ll give you a big surprise!”
😄 😄 😄
A man is visiting his elderly father in a care home.
The man asks how his father is settling in.
“Oh, it’s wonderful, son. I’ve made some great friends, I’m well rested and at night the nurses give us a hot chocolate and a Viagra before bed every night”.
When, leaving, curious to know about the Viagra, he asks a nurse.
“Excuse me, my dad told me that you serve him hot chocolate and a Viagra before bed every night, why?”
The nurse replies, “Oh, the hot chocolate is to help them fall asleep.”
“And the Viagra is to stop them rolling out of bed.”
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A man was sun bathing naked at the beach.
For the sake of civility, and to keep it from getting sunburned, he had a hat over his privates.
A woman walks past and says snickering, “If you were a gentleman, you’d lift your hat.”
He raised an eyebrow and replied, “If you weren’t so ugly, it would lift itself.”
😄 😄 😄
Why does Mrs. Claus call her lap the chimney?
So Santa will go down.
😄 😄 😄
I’d love to get on my knees and show you my best donut smile.
😄 😄 😄
It’s okay if your phone autocorrects “fuck” to “duck”.
You’re still using fowl language.
😄 😄 😄
What do Asians call 69?
Two can chew.
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After many faithful years as a Christian, John’s dedication finally paid off as he found himself the girl of his dreams.
At the wedding, he walks over to his best friend for advice.
“Hey man! What is it that I’m supposed to do when I get her all alone after the wedding?”
“Ah, that’s simple. You just take your most prized-possession and stick it in where she pees.”
“Ah! Thanks dude!”
“No problem!”
Later that night, John took his bowling ball and put it in the toilet.
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Your momma’s so ugly, when she goes into a strip club, they pay her to keep her clothes on.
😄 😄 😄
“You’ll never guess who I saw hanging out together.”
“Who?”
“DEEZ NUTS!”
😄 😄 😄
