Enjoy our team's carefully selected dirty jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest dirty jokes with your friends!
Why men’s voice is louder than women?
Men have an antenna.
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While playing in the backyard, Little Johnny kills a honeybee.
His father sees him killing the honeybee and angrily says, “No honey for you for one month!”
Later that afternoon, Johnny’s dad catches him tearing the wings off a butterfly.
“That’s it! No butter for you for one month!” says his dad.
Later that evening, as Johnny’s mother cooks dinner, a cockroach run across the kitchen floor. She jumps and stomps on it, and then looks up to find Little Johnny and her husband watching her.
Little Johnny looks at his father and says, “Are you going to tell her, Dad, or do you want me to?”
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I’m cold, can I use your thighs as earmuffs?
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Little April was not the best student in Sunday school. She usually slept through the class.
One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, “Tell me, April, who created the universe?”
When April didn’t stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear.
“GOD ALMIGHTY!” shouted April.
The teacher said, “Very good!”
And April fell back asleep.
A while later, the teacher asked April, “Who is our Lord and Savior?”
But April didn’t even stir from her slumber.
Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again.
“JESUS CHRIST!” shouted April.
The teacher said, “very good!”
And April fell back to sleep.
Then the teacher asked April a third question, “What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?”
And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin.
This time, April jumped up and shouted, “IF YOU STICK THAT FUCKING THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I’LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ASS!”
The Teacher fainted.
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It’s almost thanksgiving, do you want to be the turkey and I can be the stuffing?
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How is life like a penis?
Your girlfriend makes it hard.
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I’ve been taking Viagra for my sunburn.
It doesn’t cure it, but it keeps the sheets off my legs at night.
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Are you butt-dialing me? Because I swear, that ass is calling me.
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If a woman sleeps with 10 men, she’s a slut, but if a man does it... He’s gay, definitely gay.
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Maria, a devout Catholic, got married and had 15 children.
After her first husband died, she remarried and had 15 more children.
A few weeks after her second husband died, Maria also passed away.
At Maria’s funeral, the priest looked skyward and said, “At last, they’re finally together.”
Her sister sitting in the front row said, “Excuse me, Father, but do you mean she and her first husband, or she and her second husband?”
The priest replied, “I mean her legs.”
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