Enjoy our team's carefully selected dirty jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest dirty jokes with your friends!
So a village boy and a modern girl fall in love and want to try 69.
The boy doesn’t know about 69, so the girl takes the lead.
He lies down on the floor, and she squats down over his face to assume the position and farts out uncontrollably directly in his face. Embarrassed, she stands up and apologizes.
She squats down for another go, but farts again, this time even louder than before. She gets up and apologizes again.
Before she can have a third go, her boyfriend, red with anger, gets up hurriedly, and runs out saying, “If you think I’m gonna lie there and be farted 67 more times in my face, you are mad!”
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Is there space in your mouth for another tongue?
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Do you like bacon? Want to strip?
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How is sex like a game of bridge?
If you have a great hand, you don’t need a partner.
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They say that during sex, you burn off as many calories as running eight miles.
Who the hell runs eight miles in 30 seconds?
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Are you a plumber? I have a pipe that needs blocked.
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A man walks into the pharmacy with his 8-year-old son.
They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, “What are these, Dad?”
To which the man matter-of-factly replies, “Those are called condoms, son. Men use them to have safe sex.”
“Oh, I see,” replied the boy pensively. “Yes, I’ve heard of that in health class at school.”
He looks over the display and picks up a package of 3 and asks, “Why are there 3 in this package?”
The dad replies, “Those are for high school boys—one for Friday, one for Saturday and one for Sunday.”
“Cool,” says the boy. He notices a 6 pack and asks, “Then who are these for?”
“Those are for college men,” the dad answers, “Two For Friday, two for Saturday, and two for Sunday.”
“WOW!” exclaimed the boy. “Then who uses THESE?” he asks, picking up a 12 pack.
With a sigh and a tear in his eye, the dad replies, “Those are for married men, son. One for January, one for February, one for March...”
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After many faithful years as a Christian, John’s dedication finally paid off as he found himself the girl of his dreams.
At the wedding, he walks over to his best friend for advice.
“Hey man! What is it that I’m supposed to do when I get her all alone after the wedding?”
“Ah, that’s simple. You just take your most prized-possession and stick it in where she pees.”
“Ah! Thanks dude!”
“No problem!”
Later that night, John took his bowling ball and put it in the toilet.
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How did Burger King get Dairy Queen Pregnant?
He forgot to wrap his whopper.
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Yo mama so ugly, her birth certificate was an apology from the condom factory.
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