Enjoy our team's carefully selected dirty jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest dirty jokes with your friends!
βHey there buddy, I have a bunch of old albums, would you like 2 CDβs...?
βSure thanks!β
β...to see DEEZ NUTZ!β
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Why do vegetarians give good head?
Because theyβre used to eating nuts.
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I asked my wife, βSo, do you think the cup is half full or half empty?β
And you know what she said?
βPlease, for the love of God, could you stop wearing my bras!β
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Whatβs the difference between a woman with PMS and a terrorist?
You can negotiate with a terrorist.
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Are you an elevator? Because I want to go up and down on you.
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Today, a fortune cookie told me that every exit is an entrance.
Long story short, my girlfriend said no.
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My son is now at that age where heβs curious about the human body.
I guess Iβll have to hide it somewhere else now...
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Iβm cold, can I use your thighs as earmuffs?
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Some time ago, a young Chinese couple married.
βOkay, dear husband, my mother suggested that I should please you tonight,β the bride replies quietly on her wedding night. βPlease tell me what you want.β
βTo be honest... I would like... 69,β the groom admits nervously after a little minute of thought.
And the bride says, βYou want Beef with Broccoli?β
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While teaching a class, a teacher trying to teach good manners asked her students the following question, βMichael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?β
Michael said, βJust a minute, I have to go pee.β
The teacher responded by saying, βThat would be rude and impolite. What about you, Sherman, how would you say it?β
Sherman said, βI am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. Iβll be right back.β
βThatβs better, but itβs still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table. And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners?β
Johnny said, βI would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, who I hope to introduce you to after dinner.β
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