Enjoy our team's carefully selected dirty jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest dirty jokes with your friends!
Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Can I come in?”
“Can I come in, who?”
“You...”
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Three guys decide to stop for a drink after work on Christmas Eve.
One thing leads to another, and they end up barhopping all night.
While going to one last place, they get in a terrible accident and all three are killed.
They find themselves standing in front of the Pearly Gates.
St. Peter tells them, “Boys, you’re in luck. Since it’s Christmas, we have a special policy. Show me anything that shows that you’re celebrating the day, and you get into Heaven.”
One guy pulls out his lighter and flicks it, “Christmas candle!”
St. Peter: “OK, it’s a stretch, but you’re in.”
The second guy pulls out his keys and jingles them, “Christmas bells!”
St. Peter: “Whatever, you’re in.”
The third guy pulls a pair of women’s panties out of his pocket.
St. Peter says, “Hold up. I’m willing to stretch a point today, but what do panties have to do with Christmas?”
Guy: “They’re Carol’s.”
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What do the mafia and 69 have in common?
A slip of the tongue and you’re in for some shit.
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Two sperm swimming side by side were having a conversation.
One sperm asked the other, “How far till we reach the Fallopian tubes?”
The other replied, “No sure, but we just passed the esophagus.”
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A man was sun bathing naked at the beach.
For the sake of civility, and to keep it from getting sunburned, he had a hat over his privates.
A woman walks past and says snickering, “If you were a gentleman, you’d lift your hat.”
He raised an eyebrow and replied, “If you weren’t so ugly, it would lift itself.”
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If a woman sleeps with 10 men, she’s a slut, but if a man does it... He’s gay, definitely gay.
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Do you know how to say ‘I love you’ while sixty-nine?
You don’t, it’s rude to talk with your mouth full.
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Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Ice cream.”
“Ice cream, who?”
“Ice cream all night if you’re lucky.”
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Unexpected sex is a great way to be woken up... if you’re not in prison.
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If sex is a pain in the ass, then you’re doing it wrong...
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