Enjoy our team's carefully selected dirty jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest dirty jokes with your friends!
I’m 45 years old, and I just bought my very first sports car.
My girlfriend thinks I’m going through a midlife crisis.
But what would she know? She’s only 18.
😄 😄 😄
One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in stunningly sexy lingerie.
“Tie me up,” she purred, “and you can do anything you want.”
So he tied her up and went to watch a football match.
😄 😄 😄
This guy had devoted his whole working life to his job in a pickle factory.
Then one day, he got home from work and told his wife he’d been fired from his job.
She was very upset at this and angry at the company he’d worked for, shouting, “You’ve given that firm twenty years of devoted service. Why the hell did they fire you?”
The guy explained, “For the whole twenty years I worked there I’ve been tempted to stick my John Thomas in the pickle slicer, and today I finally did it!”
The wife screamed in horror and ran over to her husband. Then she pulled his pants down to see what damage had been done. She let out a big sigh of relief.
“You look okay,” she said. “So what happened to the pickle slicer?”
The guy said, “They fired her, too.”
😄 😄 😄
Tell yo mamma to stop changing lipstick colors because she’s turning my dick into a rainbow.
😄 😄 😄
Our whole family is really worried about my grandfather’s Viagra addiction.
Grandma is taking it particularly hard.
😄 😄 😄
What comes after 69?
Mouthwash.
😄 😄 😄
Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Can I come in?”
“Can I come in, who?”
“You...”
😄 😄 😄
Unexpected sex is a great way to be woken up... if you’re not in prison.
😄 😄 😄
I have no interest in having kids, but can we practice anyways?
😄 😄 😄
“Do you know who is coming to our party later on?”
“Yeah, Dee is.”
“Dee, who?”
“DEEZ NUTS!“
😄 😄 😄
