Enjoy our team's carefully selected Dirty Santa Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!
Why isn’t Santa able to ejaculate?
His balls are hanging in the tree.
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Regular Santa: “Ho, ho, ho!”
Gay Santa: “Haaaayyy, haaaayyy, haaayyy!”
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After all these years, how do Santa Claus and Mrs. Claus keep the marriage fresh?
Toys.
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What does Santa Claus have in common with a teenage boy?
They both empty their sacks into socks while the family is asleep.
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Why is Santa so damn jolly?
Because he knows where all the naughty women live.
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One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Claus, “Please send me a sister.”
Santa Claus wrote him back, “OK, send me your mother.”
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Why does Mrs. Claus call her lap the chimney?
So Santa will go down.
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How does Mrs. Claus make Santa feel better after a long night carrying so many heavy gifts?
She empties his sack.
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Why does Santa’s crotch make noise when he walks?
He has jingle balls.
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How does Santa practice safe sex?
He always wraps his package before shoving it down the chimney.
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Why does Santa always have a full sack?
Because he only comes once a year!
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Why does Santa always land on your roof?
Because he likes it on top.
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What did Santa sing when he went down the chimney?
Chestnuts roasting on an open fire.
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What do you get when you jingle Santa’s balls?
A white Christmas!
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